What I learnt in 2006

As part of my end of year process, I like to look back at what's happened in my life for the year, and what major lessons I've been facing (and hopefully learnt).

This year, of course, has mostly been taken up with the battle at work, facing off against a management culture of bullying and harassment who decided I was their next target, fighting to get the equipment I needed to do my job instead of rolling over and leaving like it seemed they wanted me to do. That's now been going on since November 2005, with the monitor anyway. The culture of course has been going for far longer than that and seen several others leave already.

The lesson I've learnt from it is summed up in a beautiful quote I found a few days back, author unknown:

"The only rights you have, are the ones you are willing to claim and fight for."

In the end, regardless of how much power or authority somebody has, when they try to abuse it and take actions that are against my own interest, it comes down to whether or not I allow it to happen. Nobody has any authority over me except with my consent, and I can withdraw it at any time so long as I am willing to pay the price. In this case, while the easier move would have been to leave the job, I knew that it would mean the next target/s would have it so much harder, just like my situation was worsened by how much they had already got away with. That was a price I didn't want on my conscience, and now, I know it won't be, because as a result of my actions there are more safeguards in place for others under the same management that they can draw on, than there were when I started fighting back. Of course that will only help if they choose to fight for their rights too, but that's not something I can make a decision about for anyone.

Of course, the end of this year was also marked by the illness and passing of my mother. There are many lessons she gifted me with throughout my life, but we had some wonderful conversations towards the end, and she told me how much it resonated with her when I told her of the ancient celtic attitude to birth and death - that a birth was to be mourned because life could be hard, but a death is a cause for celebration and rejoicing in the regained freedom of the soul. She asked me to take that attitude and apply it to her passing, and mostly I have been able to. I know and believe that she is not gone, just because there isn't something for me to see anymore. I feel her touching my life still, and the love between us will never pass, no matter what happens.

Most of all, though, I learnt that age is irrelevant - the people who touch your life are no more than a temporary loan to you, and you cannot expect it to last for any length of time, it can end with little or no warning at all. So, my new resolution is to take nobody for granted, and to live as though each day I have with friends and family might be the last. Since I can't say for sure that it won't be, it seems to be the best approach, and the richness of my connections since I've taken this attitude has been it's own reward.

So, in summary, what I choose to carry forward into 2007 are:

• my resolution to treasure every moment I have with those around me, and
  
• to continue refusing to allow the rights I have determined are important to me (freedom, health and welfare in particular) to be taken by ANYONE, no matter how much authority they appear to have.
  

Best wishes for a wonderful new year and may 2007 bring you all you wish for.

Crystal

In Memorium

In Memoriam: Lyla Catherine ELLIOTT
15 November 1945 - 21 October 2006
My Beloved Mother, and Treasured Friend

Yes, this is who was in hospital a few weeks back - when we got the news she decided she didn't want people seeing her unwell, and also wanted to spend her time with family, so we kept it to ourselves as she asked - she has so many people who love her that last time she went into hospital there were too many visitors and the nurses frequently had to take them in by turns! We had the most beautiful ceremony on Friday to say farewell, and the tears flowed freely down a lot of faces - mine included. She is, or was (still not quite used to it) a beautiful woman who touched a lot of lives, and brought a lot of joy to many.

I'll miss her dearly, and the world just won't be the same. I'm trying to turn the process I'm going through into something as constructive as possible, as I know she would have wanted, so even though work are still blocking me from secondary employment, I plan on re-launching the self-positivity site (temporarily closed for renovations while I change registrar and hosting) on her birthday, the 15th November. I'm developing as much, and as powerful, a set of material as I can, and dedicating it to her. As I don't intend to charge for it, I believe it won't qualify as 'employment' and I'll be able to go ahead - one way or another I don't intend to let them stop me honouring her memory in the way I know best.

Updates as to progress, and some sneak peak materials, will be distributed through my ezine, and I've temporarily moved the signup form for it to www.crystalnwoods.com while the other one is down. I hope to have more news by the 4th November, so please stay tuned.

Mum, I love you, and I always will. Your memory is treasured deep in my heart, forever.
Thank you.

Crystal

Cool free personality test I found

I actually followed one of the google links above my email today, and discovered one of the coolest resources I've seen in a long while. I generally don't believe in personality testing, because people seem to like to limit themselves based on the results, but the whole site I found here is oriented around finding the ways to improve your results instead of definitions about who you are and what you can (or can't) do. I was impressed. I went through all the free stuff and even ordered the paid stuff.

They've got a neat little quick test, which costs you nothing. Even their full scale test is a freebie. There's lots of great content provided, and the daily emails and daytimer pages they give away (the link came by email) are useful as.

Well worth checking out. http://www.crystalnwoods.com/freetest.html

I'm looking forward to getting my stuff in the mail, but reckon I've already got a lot of value out of them from just surfing...

Crystal

Another month slipped by...

Can't believe where the time is going. Has it really been that long since my last post? Still, there's been a whole lot happening. Work is still playing games. I've been certified ok to return to 'suitable duties' for over a month now, but they're delaying on getting me any. They're finally organising it at a vacant placement I told them about! So, meanwhile, they're having fun sending me letters and having the injury management coordinator call me about how my leave entitlements are about to run out. Like I could do anything about it! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I won't have too many weeks without pay, because they're certainly working hard to make sure I get at least some.

On the home front, there's more happening. A close family member is seriously unwell, in and out of hospital, so I'm trying to spend as much time as I can with her. It's hard to watch someone you love in pain, especially when you know that it's not going to be a quick recovery, but an uphill fight to recover at all. I'm now another one of those "one in however many" whose life has been touched by cancer.

Makes you appreciate every minute you have with the people you love, I can tell you. It got me thinking - especially after we had the recent shock deaths of Steve Irwin and Peter Brock - that you really can't take anyone being there tomorrow for granted. Life suddenly looks so much more uncertain, and there's very little that can make you feel more powerless than watching someone else struggle with their health...

I guess the only lesson you can take from it is that the people you love aren't permanent fixtures, but temporary gifts that life has loaned to you. Take advantage of them being there for every minute that they are, because you don't know when the loan will be called back. Say everything you want them to know, and don't let silly ideas of what they might think, or how they might react, stop you from being honest from the heart.

Life IS way too short.

Crystal

Time out and a funny site (that isn't meant to be)

Hey there again. After a few days focussing on taking care of myself and studiously avoiding as much as possible anything to do with the dramas at work (not always possible with phone calls flying everywhere as appointments were arranged, paperwork requested etc), I'm starting to feel a bit calmer and more together. It got really bad for a while there. On my worst day I washed my hair three times. No, it wasn't dirty. I'd finish washing it, then think "have I washed it yet?" and wash it again. It was only after I got out that I realised what I'd done. Talk about mental fugue!! Getting it back again now, though, which is good, because I'm going to need it to work out a long term solution to this mess!!!

Went for a bit of a surf today online. Apparently someone's starting up some big buzz about an anonymous rich internet jerk (their words) who's gotten filthy rich on 5 hours a week, and no product. Yeah right. They've even got a TV ad and a radio commercial featuring someone snoring!!! I think it was meant to be serious internet marketing, but hope not, because I was laughing myself silly - wonder how much they paid the actor? Check it out and have a giggle yourself...

Oh, and if anyone decides to buy it - let me know if it works out for you and you retire next week, or equally if it doesn't and they end up giving you your money back... especially since they've already described him as a scrooge in the promotional stuff!! ;-)

Crystal

From battlefield to full scale war

Hard to believe it's been three weeks already. After my last post, things got dramatically worse at work. In fact, I'm now getting anything and everything possible thrown at me, up to and including threats, bullying and intimidation tactics. I refuse to give in and quietly leave, though it's becoming ever clearer why they have a continuous problem with staff turnover...

My health ended up suffering, and after my blood pressure skyrocketed and I found myself under so much stress that I lost my memory, concentration and ability to sleep, plus all desire to eat (that WASN'T how I meant to lose weight, darn it!) the doctor called it. I'm on time out trying to get my health back, while I get myself ready for the next round of war. The ironic thing is, I just want to do my job - I'm GOOD at it - but it's being made more and more difficult for me to do it, then they're using the fact against me. I'm being maneuvred into a situation where they can wave me goodbye, willingly or not, and I'm frantically trying to stop myself from being checkmated. On the plus side, I'm getting one heck of an education in industrial relations, workers compensation, awards, entitlements and legislation! If and when I ever do get into the situation where I'm somebody else's manager, at least I'll be very well informed of what NOT to do.

Oh, and I'm rapidly coming to the conviction that Micromanagement should be banned.

On the home front, since work has been such a battle I've not done a lot for myself, but I am keeping up the exercise at least (helps keep my spirits up) and the rest of my time has been occupied with getting together all the paperwork I'm having to do for the situation. Oh well. Like I said - it's a great educational process, at least! You can see from the picture at left that even my reading list is focussed on getting me through this - although it's a pretty good gem of a book in any case - one of those old ones that pop up now and again. Author is Frank Channing Haddock, and the book is number one of a series called the "Power book library" - this one is just called "Power of Will"

I'm now starting to seriously think about the options I have other than switching to another job, though. Honestly, I'm wondering if it can ever be worth it to hand someone else that much power over you! If I can find a way to be self-sufficient enough to take care of the mortgage and my living expenses, I'll jump at it. If I can work my way up from there to enjoy a better lifestyle - driven by my own efforts - I'll be even happier. I'm investigating things like elance, since I love writing so much, and ebay, although there'd be a bit of a learning curve on that one as to what kind of products to focus on and where to source them. Online business is another option, although while I'm still employed where I am I can't actively pursue that one. If they manage to get me out, though, I'll be giving it all I've got.

It's funny, less than 150 years ago it was the norm for everyone to be self-employed, growing up in a family trade, and people who had jobs were looked at as being unusual. Then the industrial revolution switched it all around, and a hundred years later we're all well trained to believe that we can't fend for ourselves anymore. It's a very thorough training system they've developed, when the possibility of self-employment is viewed as being LESS secure than trusting someone else to give you money for however long they decide they want your skills and efforts, and giving away all your power and self-sufficiency for the privilege of being, to all intents and purposes, the corporate version of a time-share slave.

You can see my thoughts are pretty tied up with this work situation, even if I am supposed to be working on recovery right now. I have no idea how long it will be until my next chance to blog, but keep your fingers crossed for me that it works out for the best (I believe it always does) but in the soonest possible time!!!

Best wishes and take care,

Crystal

Growing again

No, the weight hasn't shot up again. I'm learning and developing myself once more. The past few weeks have been quiet because I've been battling work, who decided that holding back my grade increase for 3 months would be a great way to help the budget (at least that's the only reason I can think of for it). So now, after having spent most of the past 6 months struggling to work despite needing painkillers and eye drops to get through the day, because I knew I was the only one there and the work needed to be done, so I soldiered on to do it, the accusation is in that I'm lacking a work ethic and they're using that to try and justify holding back my pay grading.

The old Crystal struggling to overcome the victim mentality would have complained a lot and tried to find someplace else to work. But this time, I got angry, and decided I wasn't going to take it lying down. I've now got union and several levels of management involved, and it went as far as Head office Industrial Relations, but I've got my grade coming through. The games stepped up a level, and it looks like I'm stepping up with it.

Of course that doesn't mean, if I got offered a better position somewhere else, where I wouldn't be getting the same sort of treatment as I've had here, I wouldn't take it. I would. But I'm not going to walk away and let them get away with it, and do it to the next unsuspecting person. I'm starting to understand why I'm one of only a handful left of my class of 3 years ago...

On the home front, I'm making progress with putting all my books away and getting my office set up as I'd like it. I'm keeping things a lot cleaner than I ever have, and taking more pride in my environment (and myself) and am doing a lot more exercise these days too. From not being able to run more than 2 steps without giving myself 2 black eyes, I'm now able to run across the carpark between my place and the bus stop and getting less and less winded doing it each day. I'm also getting up earlier and using the exercise machines and DVDs I have at home, and hope to arrange a machine swap with someone at work to trade my bike for her treadmill for 3 or 6 months to give us both a change. Fingers crossed she likes the idea. I'm not using the gym - the hours just don't suit the way I have to work, so I'll be dropping that and putting the money towards a treadmill of my own, if the swap idea doesn't work.

I'm also cooking a lot more, and a lot more healthily too. That book (at left) is incredible in giving you a perspective on what food really does once you take it in. Being on my own, cooking two recipes generally gives me most of my meals for the week, if they serve 4 (one recipe for lunch, another for dinner). 3 gives me a good variety. I did that last weekend, and this week was great in terms of not having to think what to eat and having something ready to go when I got home. No difference on the scales, but hey, when I spent 3 years at the same weight despite Sure Slim, Weight Watchers and several other programs, I figure that it's better to be a bit strategic and find the keys that will convince my body it doesn't want to be like the last 3 generations of my father's line, obese, but would enjoy being fit and svelte instead. One day...

So, this weekend is for me, and for planning out exactly where I want my career to go from here. My job is now, clearly, just a job, so I figure if I have a plan of where I want to get to, maybe the universe will find it a little bit easier to send it to me. That whole "careful what you ask for, you might get it" thing has to work asking for things you really DO want too, I figure, so I might as well use it. If any of you out there have my dream job coming up, or hear of it, please feel free to post a comment and let me know!?!

Til next time, keep smiling!

Crystal :)

Catching up...

Long time ago since I wrote, but the day after my last post, work hired a new monitor so I could get back to work for them (of course with no allowance for having spent 3 months straining my eyes) and so of an evening I was so sore the computer was the last thing I wanted to see. I did end up going through a return to work plan, but the actual replacement monitor didn't arrive until June, and it was smaller again, so I'm now back to having to take regular breaks and make sure I don't strain my eyes any further. Having learnt the hard way that nobody else cares whether I take care of myself or not, except for how it impacts on them and what they want, I'm getting very good at drawing those boundaries, so now I'm being accused of having no work ethic. Can't win, can you?

On the home front, I moved in to my new place in March. It was absolute chaos for a while, because of course I couldn't get any time off work except for the one day entitlement for the actual move. My partner's shift was changed, so he wasn't able to help out as much as he thought he'd be able to, so I got very sleep deprived and stressed for a while there. Oh, and having been told that the owner was moving back, then told he might do work on the place before moving back, the flat went into the paper on the Saturday after I handed the keys in. Funnily enough, it's only JUST been re-rented, so I suspect they might not have got quite as much as they were convinced they could get for it. Karma is a wonderful thing, right ;-)

The last lot of boxes in my place are currently being unpacked - and that's my books. Boy did I miss having easy access to those for the first month and a half, until I organised shelving to be installed in my 'study' room. I'm still waiting for a few more actual shelves to arrive to fit into the unit, but all in all, I'm pretty set up now. Having got the place in a great condition, the only thing now needing fixing is one of the stove elements which has split, so I'll be chasing down a replacement in the next few weeks, but it's an easy fix. It's a good feeling watching the money you spend each fortnight accumulate towards your net worth instead of disappearing somewhere into someone else's pocket. I'm VERY glad I made the move when I did.

On the health front, of course work has been very stressful between losing a good part of my vision for a while and until recently still running solo in a section that was originally staffed by 3 (we're back up to 2, as of this week). There've been a few power games played as well, which haven't helped, and of course now I've had my 'secondary employment' application revoked I'm not allowed actually run my website in any way, shape or form resembling a business - so it's pretty much blogs until I either; a. get my approval back (not likely anytime soon), b. get a transfer and get approval there (possible, but not probable) or c. get out of government and get a job in the private sector where my own time is allowed to be my own time - that's my preferred option at this stage.

Under the stress, I also ended up with a repeating bout of gastro which the Dr now suspects to be giardia, which was nasty for a while but lost me 2kgs in a day the last time round. Not that I'd recommend it to anyone as a weight loss method... But having to keep my foods pretty much simple so they stayed down has done wonders for my diet, and I've managed to keep it off even though I'm mostly up & running again. Hmm. Wonder what Louise Hay thinks gastro relates to? Must look that up, but it's one of the books I've not unpacked yet, so I'll have to check it out down the library or something.

As a way to ease myself back into eating, I've been following the recommendations in my latest book: Ultrametabolism by Dr Mark Hyman - I love how he explains all the background so clearly and it's the FIRST book I've seen to include the research I heard about years ago where they found that even a water-only fast could still see weight put on when the subject was under stress! It's linked at the side even though I've finished it and started on another, called "Fear is Power" - I'll update you on that one after I've gone through it a bit more...

I also had a minor win this morning. This week is the first chance I've had to go back to the gym (Curves) since getting Gastro and being dehydrated as a result about a month ago. Over the past few days, though, I've also been working on some of my exercise DVD's at home. I got the DVD workout for "The Biggest Loser" a few weeks ago, and the first time I put it in was only able to gasp my way through about 3 1/2 minutes of it. Last week I got up to 15 mins of it, and today - this morning - FINALLY got all the way through the first workout. Of course I went bright red in the process, but at least I'm now able to work my way through the one they call "low impact aerobics". One workout down, another 3 to go! (Not in a hurry, I can tell you...) I'm determined to start fitting into some of the nice suits I got on sale last year that had the wrong size label on them, though, for the interviews I intend to have!

That's about it for where I'm up to now. So, of the 3 things changing this year, I've done one, am on the road to the second, and actively working to bring about the third.
Wish me luck?

Crystal

Nearly There

Friday the contracts arrived, and I got asked to drop off the deposit. I rang about the deposit bond I was arranging, but the lady I'd been dealing with was off, and so was her mobile that she'd left in case I rang... Later that afternoon, I got the call back, and we arranged that Monday she'd call me at work so we could go through the bond application, and the solicitor might be able to exchange on the fax confirmation, or at worst the thing would arrive the following day.

This morning, I heard nothing until the solicitor rang, all concerned that I was using a deposit bond instead of paying the deposit. I was sure I'd told them I'd be doing it, because I intend to use the First Home Owners Grant as part of my 5%, but it wasn't in their notes, so apparently I didn't. That meant they had to go back to the other solicitor and get the OK for the bond. Wasn't sure how much that would hold them up, but it got sorted before lunch and I filled out the application for the 10% bond they insisted on, instead of the 5 I thought I'd already negotiated. Oh well. Another $250 odd gone. Money's running like water at this stage... Not much you can do, because if I raise the money myself I'll be dipping into credit to cover the amount of the grant, and that'll end up costing more.

So, with all that organised today, the contracts are probably being exchanged tomorrow, once the bond arrives at the solicitor. Learning heaps about all the things they never mention you should think about. Am also having fun going through magazines for decorating ideas (even though himself thinks I should wait until I'm in there. Heck, I'm having FUN, so why not do it now!?! It's not as though I'll be able to do anything about any of them for a few years anyway!)

Next step, once I get the settlement date I'm going to go to the rental tribunal and ask them about ruling on letting me stay where I am until then, so I don't have to find another place for only 3 or 4 weeks. After 6 years, and having been told (by phone) that I'm being kicked out because I took them to the tribunal when they did wrong by me last time they put the rent up (for new readers, they sent notice to a street address that gets stuff stolen from it regularly, and then didn't follow up for 6 months until there was a big backlog I suddenly had to pay. The kicker is, all this time they were sending their newsletter to the PO box I'd given them because of the problem) I don't think I'm asking too much - especially since there's not anybody else lined up to come in. I've been told that if I just don't hand the keys in, it'll take 3 weeks for a tribunal hearing which will give me the time I need, but I want to do it above board.

At home, sorting through my stuff with the "Getting things done" method from the book I got, I'm really starting to see daylight. The piles of paper did cover the lounge, I'm down to less than a quarter of that and it should be done entirely and up to date within the week, even with me back at work full time. The packing's also progressing nicely and I've got so many boxes all over the place that it's a bit of an obstacle course now!!! Hey, maybe I should use that and try to negotiate it at speed for my weight loss...

At work, it looks like someone finally got on my side and has kicked up enough of a fuss that I'm going to get a decent size monitor on a rental basis until the requested one comes through, which they say is March 10. Read, probably at least a couple weeks after that, but I can FINALLY be productive again in the meantime!!! I'm working with a lovely lady who started today, who'll be a big help on catching things up, and the doctor will be watching over my picking up the PC work again, to make sure I don't end up back on the painkillers. With my normal work being 100% computer based, it might take a little bit to get back up to it, considering I've been straining my eyes struggling to keep working on a too small screen since early November, but I'm just glad I'm going to be able to get back in harness.

Anyway, in a nutshell things are starting to look up, and it's going to be interesting where things go from here...

Crystal

Where did the week go???

I was sure I'd posted something this last week, but suppose it has been pretty hectic. I blinked. Sorry.

I've been through the contract - it was held up for most of the week waiting for the owners to check when they'd be able to move into their retirement trust. Saturday I found out not this month. The real estate agent is bound and determined not to let me stay a day after the 28th February, and if contracts exchange this week, it won't be for another 6 that I get to shift, so it looks as though I'm going to be floating for about 3 or 4 weeks, depending when the exchange happens.

Actually, when I rang the agent to ask about why I had to go, she let on that the owner's not moving back at all, but is renovating to re-let at a higher price. Hmm. Can tell he's not seen the state of this market, but anyway. She seemed to enjoy telling me that if I hadn't made such a fuss about the last rent increase, it might be different. The fuss I made was over the fact that they posted the last increase to my letterbox which they KNOW gets stuff stolen from it, hence my PO box - the one they routinely send newsletters to - and then didn't follow up until 4 months later when there was a backlog (it took 4 phone calls where they told me I was behind before they looked into it, despite me insisting I couldn't be because I have an automatic payment set up. Then they found that it started falling behind at the last increase I never knew about. Oh, and this during a period when rental prices FELL, but suddenly I had to cough up a back payment? I even let them out of giving me the full notice period I had the right to, just to compromise and get the matter settled, but for all that they've had it in for me. I have one accident trying to fix something on the blinds that I'm told would normally have broken 3 or 4 in a 6 year period (first one) and ask that they fix it, and lo and behold, the DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS I'm sent a notice telling me to get out instead. Of course, with Christmas being over a weekend, and all the public holidays, it was the day after my Jan 3 birthday before I got it, but hey, you get that. Happy new year.

The funniest bit is, when I rang them today to see if there was any way I could arrange the extra time, even if it involved upping the rent for those few weeks, I was put on hold. Their corporate jingle came on, which started telling me how they specialise in building relationships with people. Yeah, right! I had a good laugh at that one.

This is turning into a bit of a rant, I know, but I had to let steam off. It's annoying the heck out of me that they are treating me this badly, and forcing me into this impossible position. So, in a nutshell, the contract is waiting for their solicitor, then we arrange exchange. Meanwhile I find a new home for my birds, who the strata apparently don't allow in the building, and pack madly. I'm having fun trying to find storage, too - it's all full right now apparently. Work's still held up on getting my monitor fixed, so I'm not able to do my job there, which adds to the frustration when people come up and ask for stuff I can't do, but there's nothing I can do about that but wait and do as much as I can with pen and paper (amazing how you take a keyboard and screen for granted).

What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. I keep telling myself that. Two months from now, this will all be just a memory, and what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. I hope.

Moving Fast...

Today while sorting through my stuff I came across an old favourite book of mine. On impulse, I picked it up to skim it again (it's a nice thin one) and came across a quote I didn't remember, but REALLY agree with - subject to qualification of one term in it. The quote is:

"Our charge on this earth is to exercise our gifts and talents to the maximum - and to care for all the assets that God has given us, including our bodies." Dr Ken Cooper

Wow. Once again, I'm reminded of why I'm working so hard to get that final lynchpin in place with my health. I'm also very humbly reminded of the bigger picture. While there are issues with work, and the fact that they have cost cut on my equipment to the detriment of my health, it doesn't mean that I have the right to back out of using my role to make a contribution to the world - despite all the obstacles they put in my way. I intend to, and to make sure that contribution is the stepping stone to a role that allows me to express my gifts and talents to a greater extent...

The book? You, Inc by Burke Hedges (click here to see my review of it on Amazon)



Now, to my progress. Seems like the contract hit the solicitors this morning, so I'm in there on Wednesday to go through it with him. Meanwhile the agent is discussing the possibility of an early settlement with the owners. The valuers have already been through, so that should be back to the finance agency soon, and the building inspection is already scheduled for this week. Seems incredible to think it was only this time last week that I saw it for the first time...

I went down to Fantastic Furniture yesterday and started looking around for packages for the new place. I may end up going light on furniture for a while until I find the right stuff, but it doesn't matter. I'll have the basics, and then I can work my way up from there. I was looking for a little 2-4 person dining table, then realised that with my own place, I was looking forward to having other couples over for dinner, and would be better off with a 4-6 person size. It's a shift in my thinking and it's really blowing me out how quickly I'm making it. Who knows, this time next month I could be in!?! At the very least, I'll be in the final rundown to it...

Guess what I just bought...

What a difference a day makes! Yesterday morning I was struggling at work (they still haven't fixed my monitor), looking down the barrel of homelessness with an eviction notice to shift out for the owner to come back end of next month, no place arranged to go, and worrying whether my finances would stand up to the cost I thought I'd end up paying to move into my own place, or whether I'd end up having to rent and put my home ownership plans on the backburner for another year or two...

Today, I've successfully negotiated the purchase of my first property, in a great location, and at about 30% less than I expected to have to pay for a place I could walk into and not have to fix up anything. I'm enjoying today's public holiday (Australia Day) before launching myself back into organising paperwork to follow through, and busy working out all the things to be arranged for me to get into MY OWN PLACE!!! I feel like I'm a powerful, independent woman. Not only that, but I've worked out that the mortgage repayments I'm up for are going to be LESS than I'm currently putting aside, let alone the rent I'm going to save, and less than $100 more than I'd be paying per week in rent, so it looks like I'll be able to fast track this mortgage and build some serious equity FAST. Yes, I've organised a mortgage that allows excess payments, and credits them against the principal instead of just the interest, so I'm honestly feeling pretty great right now.

Oh, and I googled my job title with the word "vacancies" and discovered about 20 other government agencies all looking for people - seems we're in demand at the moment. A good thing, with the workplace reforms that the Prime Minister John Howard has just introduced, although I can't help but think there's going to be a lot of people in a much worse situation because of them. Essentially the workplace is now a supply and demand trading floor with no safeguards. If you're in demand, you're right. If you're an employer looking for a fairly common skill set, you're more than right - your workers are going to be available at 'sale' rates. But the workers who don't have specialised skills are pretty much going to be stuffed.

Interestingly, I got a Seek Job Mail this morning telling me of a job in the hunter, so out of interest I ran the search for my local area (NOT the hunter) to check if it was still pulling up jobs in the wrong area - and found another local job going at package to $100k in private industry. Interesting! Seems like if my current govt department doesn't pull their act together and fix things, I've got some good alternative options out there...

Of course the best option is to keep on working on my online stuff (must draw up my book proposal this week) and get that going to the point I don't have to worry about employers at all! Don't think it needs take very long, either, seeing as I've got so many years of ground work laid already. I'm getting truly excited at the possiblities in my future, but at the same time there's a bit of nervousness and that little voice telling me not to jinx myself.

Still, when has that ever stopped me before!?!

Crystal

Getting Exciting!!!

Wow. Nerves reign supreme right now! Things seem to be picking up at a pretty much exponential pace... From looking around, I've now put in 2 offers (that first step WAS a doozy!) and the last one was so good I went straight to the mortgage broker and lodged my preapproval application! (hope that last sentence doesn't increase the ten million spam offers for home loans good for the US only that I already get... Thank the Goddess for Google's spam filter!)

On second thought, maybe nerves DON'T reign supreme. After all, it's not stopping me, even though I'm launching into this by myself instead of as part of a couple. I could have let the fact that I hadn't saved enough deposit stopped me, and gone into rental again when I got notice the owner was coming back, but didn't. Maybe all those self-help books are finally taking hold? Whatever it is, seems like I'm more and more living my life as I want to - and by the saying I have stuck prominently up on my fridge: "Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about CREATING yourself." Right on!

So, have a counter offer in on a nice 2 bedroom apartment a little north of town - would have to transit into work but have access to much better facilities for all that. And yes, I'd live closer to my bloke, would be able to visit without the fact I never bought a car stopping me. Who knows, maybe one day I'll get conventional enough to get one... nah, probably not. At least not for conventional reasons, anyway! Back to the topic, the ironic thing is that after picking holes in every place we checked out up to now, he walked into this one with me and started gushing. Ouch! "There goes any negotiation" thought I. Turns out it might have been a good thing, because the owner knows his dad, but time will tell. It even has MOST of my wishlist - bath, separate shower (no more stepping over that wide rim!), built in wardrobes with full length mirrors (done without any of those for too long - can only help the weight loss!) and a big enough lounge that I can set up my exercise bike in front of the TV, and probably leave out the other stuff like the fitball and dumbells as well! Oh yes, and the suburb happens to have the first local Curves outlet located within walking distance too. Best of all, the price it's at will allow me to make extra payments and clear it heaps quicker than a couple decades!

So, I've done my part, now I'm just sitting back and waiting for news. I trust totally that if this is the right place, it will happen, but in case it's not I'm still arranging a few more viewings for the rest of the week. Seems very much now as though when it moves, it will take a quantum shift and move FAST. The hardest thing from here (that I can see, anyway) is the rest of the packing up. It's funny how depressing it can be when you put your life away into boxes. This time, though, it may just be an exhilarating experience!!!

Wish me luck?

Crystal

PS - was right about viewings etc boosting my pedometer count. Averaging between 12,000 and 18,000 steps a day. For a short little 5'4" frame, that's a LOT of walking.

Looking Good

Yesterday and today I started calling mortgage brokers to find out about what kind of loan I'd be able to get if I went for my own place. Turns out that I'm qualified to go well over the range I've been looking at, but if I want easy repayments that fit within what I'm earning now, I'm looking about the right range. If I negotiate a good deal, even better, I'll have MORE money free than I currently do with saving for my deposit!!! So, I'm no longer chasing two rabbits - looking at rental properties is going to be a fall back plan when there's only a few weeks to go. I also hope to arrange that if I run over time I may be able to store my stuff and stay with someone for a couple weeks - yet to check who would be willing to let me stay, though. I think it's important to have that kind of security so that I don't end up feeling like I'm time crunched on looking for my place.

On the weight loss front, I've pretty much only been following the Biggest Loser diet for the past few days, plus heaps of walking checking stuff out, and I'm regaining ground on my jump last week. It's disheartening losing the same weight you've already lost, and still staying above your lowest, but I figure if I keep at it then eventually I'll start making real progress again. It's not an option to give up and let it pile back on - not at all.

I've rearranged my work desk in line with the OHS recommendations, so that when the bigger monitor comes we won't have to move it anywhere - looking forward to that. Went to the dr last night about my vision going blurry again - he latched on to a single word - "headaches" and ignored every other symptom I mentioned. Most insistent that I couldn't possibly have a headache that lasted a week and a half, even though I have. Bizarre. Wants to send me for a cat scan just in case. I'm getting a second opinion when my regular doctor comes back tomorrow.

So, now I need to set out my plan of attack for getting everything packed up at this place. Will work through one room at a time, I think, and the back room is the first one. Then, of course, I need to see how much I can physically load onto ebay in a single session, and work out how much time that's going to consume. The first lot have been going well, and should make a nice dent in a few bills for me, but those were high ticket items mostly, and the books I've got are more a quantity thing. Maybe I should load them as bulk lots, and just be done with it!

Crystal

REALLY getting a fresh start - all over!

It never rains but it pours, does it? I managed to get through my 2 hour challenge, and finished 2005 at 281.4lb, very close to ten pounds off the 291 I started with. Then the first week saw not only new year, but my birthday (three dinners out for that alone) and more dramas with work, who still haven't fixed my monitor, after changing it to something small enough to aggravate my eyes and give me constant headaches at the start of NOVEMBER. Seems that even though I declared the problem I've got with having had surgery, and being vulnerable to eye strain, they've lost all records of it. Plus I was told that the Occupational Health and Safety inspection which happened is going to be ignored until they get the written report from the specialist I need to see. All very well, but I've not even received a letter telling me who to see, let alone got an appointment. So over the week of my 'holidays' there were calls back and forth to chase it up, and it seems it was sent on December 15. Funnily enough, when they faxed a copy of it through, it was dated 3 January - that day, so unless they got the head guy to sign it again, there's something a bit funny going on. It arrived in the mail the day after, on the fourth - TWICE. Both dated 3 January.

Fun came as I tried to find an optometrist to do it. I had to organise the appointment myself, and nobody could do it for the set fee they had limited it to, mainly because it wasn't going to be paid upfront but invoiced for afterwards. None of the computer systems allow this, apparently. The one small one I found told me they couldn't get me an appointment for a couple of weeks at least. I was getting pretty downhearted and depressed by this stage, and REALLY not looking forward to going back to work.

The day after that, I found an optometrist, and managed to get an appointment for during the day Monday. I rang in to explain the situation to the union rep, who put me on to my supervisor, and it seems that he's pushed enough buttons from when I told him my situation (unable to see clearly anymore from eyestrain, on prescription painkillers, and possibly not able to come back until it was fixed) and sent him a copy of the OHS report, that it's getting fixed without that. HOORAYYYY!!!

While getting ready for another birthday dinner that night, which I was now relaxed enough to look forward to (amazing what good news can do), I cleared through the other mail I'd picked up with the form. One of them was from the real estate agent, who send out a newsletter on a fairly regular basis. I opened it in case, only to find that I've got until the end of February to find some place else to live. Not enough deposit saved to get my own place yet, so it was looking as though I'd have to rent somewhere, which of course would mean I'd not have long enough up in tenancy to look good to the banks when I finally DID save enough. Boy oh boy, is this new year hitting me with a bang!

After spending a couple of days wishing fervently to win a lottery prize and fix it all, I hit a low point last night. Then it occurred to me, that I was back in my old 'victim' mentality from when I was a child, and hoping for something else to come along and 'rescue' me from the situation, without my having to do anything. Major lightbulb moment! Once I realised that, I decided that in this case I was going to create my own solution, and my mind has been running a hundred miles an hour since. I did end up gaining for the first time this week, on the program, which I thought was probably because I was falling back into old habits of skipping meals then bingeing late at night, but may have been partially because of the strength training I put into my routine this month - I had finally fit into a size 20 jeans when we went out to dinner that night, and when I started in December I was in a 24, so it might be fairly quickly reversible. At least that's what I'm hoping...

So, where to from here. Well, first priority is to make sure I get my workouts in, and keep taking care of myself. Life collapsing around me is no excuse! Second priority is to find and negotiate a creative real estate deal that lets me leverage into my own place directly, without having to lose time and money renting in the meantime. I'm working on several ideas there. (Mostly from the Robert Allen stuff I've read). Finally, I'm also clearing as much as possible out of my place, and taking as little as I can with me. There'll be a lot of books (but more put up to ebay in the meantime) but not much furniture, as I plan on selling that to the students due to move in locally around the time I'll have to shift, and getting myself one of those nice furniture packages that dont' cost a fortune anymore - it will be so nice to not only have my own place, but have it nicely decorated too!

Can I create it, and can I create it on time? Who knows, but I intend to have a damn good try. Wish me luck, and if you want to contribute anything to my deposit, che ck out my ebay listings (http://stores.ebay.com.au/Self-Positivity) or just head across to paypal - use the button below or just send to my email: crystal.woods at (@) consultant.com! Anyone making a gift of $10 or more will get a personal thank you and surprise gift back from me...

Crystal