Growing again

No, the weight hasn't shot up again. I'm learning and developing myself once more. The past few weeks have been quiet because I've been battling work, who decided that holding back my grade increase for 3 months would be a great way to help the budget (at least that's the only reason I can think of for it). So now, after having spent most of the past 6 months struggling to work despite needing painkillers and eye drops to get through the day, because I knew I was the only one there and the work needed to be done, so I soldiered on to do it, the accusation is in that I'm lacking a work ethic and they're using that to try and justify holding back my pay grading.

The old Crystal struggling to overcome the victim mentality would have complained a lot and tried to find someplace else to work. But this time, I got angry, and decided I wasn't going to take it lying down. I've now got union and several levels of management involved, and it went as far as Head office Industrial Relations, but I've got my grade coming through. The games stepped up a level, and it looks like I'm stepping up with it.

Of course that doesn't mean, if I got offered a better position somewhere else, where I wouldn't be getting the same sort of treatment as I've had here, I wouldn't take it. I would. But I'm not going to walk away and let them get away with it, and do it to the next unsuspecting person. I'm starting to understand why I'm one of only a handful left of my class of 3 years ago...

On the home front, I'm making progress with putting all my books away and getting my office set up as I'd like it. I'm keeping things a lot cleaner than I ever have, and taking more pride in my environment (and myself) and am doing a lot more exercise these days too. From not being able to run more than 2 steps without giving myself 2 black eyes, I'm now able to run across the carpark between my place and the bus stop and getting less and less winded doing it each day. I'm also getting up earlier and using the exercise machines and DVDs I have at home, and hope to arrange a machine swap with someone at work to trade my bike for her treadmill for 3 or 6 months to give us both a change. Fingers crossed she likes the idea. I'm not using the gym - the hours just don't suit the way I have to work, so I'll be dropping that and putting the money towards a treadmill of my own, if the swap idea doesn't work.

I'm also cooking a lot more, and a lot more healthily too. That book (at left) is incredible in giving you a perspective on what food really does once you take it in. Being on my own, cooking two recipes generally gives me most of my meals for the week, if they serve 4 (one recipe for lunch, another for dinner). 3 gives me a good variety. I did that last weekend, and this week was great in terms of not having to think what to eat and having something ready to go when I got home. No difference on the scales, but hey, when I spent 3 years at the same weight despite Sure Slim, Weight Watchers and several other programs, I figure that it's better to be a bit strategic and find the keys that will convince my body it doesn't want to be like the last 3 generations of my father's line, obese, but would enjoy being fit and svelte instead. One day...

So, this weekend is for me, and for planning out exactly where I want my career to go from here. My job is now, clearly, just a job, so I figure if I have a plan of where I want to get to, maybe the universe will find it a little bit easier to send it to me. That whole "careful what you ask for, you might get it" thing has to work asking for things you really DO want too, I figure, so I might as well use it. If any of you out there have my dream job coming up, or hear of it, please feel free to post a comment and let me know!?!

Til next time, keep smiling!

Crystal :)

Catching up...

Long time ago since I wrote, but the day after my last post, work hired a new monitor so I could get back to work for them (of course with no allowance for having spent 3 months straining my eyes) and so of an evening I was so sore the computer was the last thing I wanted to see. I did end up going through a return to work plan, but the actual replacement monitor didn't arrive until June, and it was smaller again, so I'm now back to having to take regular breaks and make sure I don't strain my eyes any further. Having learnt the hard way that nobody else cares whether I take care of myself or not, except for how it impacts on them and what they want, I'm getting very good at drawing those boundaries, so now I'm being accused of having no work ethic. Can't win, can you?

On the home front, I moved in to my new place in March. It was absolute chaos for a while, because of course I couldn't get any time off work except for the one day entitlement for the actual move. My partner's shift was changed, so he wasn't able to help out as much as he thought he'd be able to, so I got very sleep deprived and stressed for a while there. Oh, and having been told that the owner was moving back, then told he might do work on the place before moving back, the flat went into the paper on the Saturday after I handed the keys in. Funnily enough, it's only JUST been re-rented, so I suspect they might not have got quite as much as they were convinced they could get for it. Karma is a wonderful thing, right ;-)

The last lot of boxes in my place are currently being unpacked - and that's my books. Boy did I miss having easy access to those for the first month and a half, until I organised shelving to be installed in my 'study' room. I'm still waiting for a few more actual shelves to arrive to fit into the unit, but all in all, I'm pretty set up now. Having got the place in a great condition, the only thing now needing fixing is one of the stove elements which has split, so I'll be chasing down a replacement in the next few weeks, but it's an easy fix. It's a good feeling watching the money you spend each fortnight accumulate towards your net worth instead of disappearing somewhere into someone else's pocket. I'm VERY glad I made the move when I did.

On the health front, of course work has been very stressful between losing a good part of my vision for a while and until recently still running solo in a section that was originally staffed by 3 (we're back up to 2, as of this week). There've been a few power games played as well, which haven't helped, and of course now I've had my 'secondary employment' application revoked I'm not allowed actually run my website in any way, shape or form resembling a business - so it's pretty much blogs until I either; a. get my approval back (not likely anytime soon), b. get a transfer and get approval there (possible, but not probable) or c. get out of government and get a job in the private sector where my own time is allowed to be my own time - that's my preferred option at this stage.

Under the stress, I also ended up with a repeating bout of gastro which the Dr now suspects to be giardia, which was nasty for a while but lost me 2kgs in a day the last time round. Not that I'd recommend it to anyone as a weight loss method... But having to keep my foods pretty much simple so they stayed down has done wonders for my diet, and I've managed to keep it off even though I'm mostly up & running again. Hmm. Wonder what Louise Hay thinks gastro relates to? Must look that up, but it's one of the books I've not unpacked yet, so I'll have to check it out down the library or something.

As a way to ease myself back into eating, I've been following the recommendations in my latest book: Ultrametabolism by Dr Mark Hyman - I love how he explains all the background so clearly and it's the FIRST book I've seen to include the research I heard about years ago where they found that even a water-only fast could still see weight put on when the subject was under stress! It's linked at the side even though I've finished it and started on another, called "Fear is Power" - I'll update you on that one after I've gone through it a bit more...

I also had a minor win this morning. This week is the first chance I've had to go back to the gym (Curves) since getting Gastro and being dehydrated as a result about a month ago. Over the past few days, though, I've also been working on some of my exercise DVD's at home. I got the DVD workout for "The Biggest Loser" a few weeks ago, and the first time I put it in was only able to gasp my way through about 3 1/2 minutes of it. Last week I got up to 15 mins of it, and today - this morning - FINALLY got all the way through the first workout. Of course I went bright red in the process, but at least I'm now able to work my way through the one they call "low impact aerobics". One workout down, another 3 to go! (Not in a hurry, I can tell you...) I'm determined to start fitting into some of the nice suits I got on sale last year that had the wrong size label on them, though, for the interviews I intend to have!

That's about it for where I'm up to now. So, of the 3 things changing this year, I've done one, am on the road to the second, and actively working to bring about the third.
Wish me luck?

Crystal